I know that I f**ked up again
I lost my only friend
God forgive my sins
Don't leave me, I
Oh I will hate myself until I die
My heart would break without you
Might not awake without you
Been hurting low, from living high for so long
I'm sorry, and I love you
Sing with me, "Bell Bottom Blue"
I'll keep searching for an answer cause I need you
"Dope" - Lady GaGa
I never thought I was going to write something about this matter. But it just got me thinking.
Several friends of mine recently got into their own difficulties with their respective ex/girlfriends, and I got into trouble with a relatively close friend of myself.
Originally I thought it was just part of a normal "cycle" between us, but it seems more severe than it used to be. And after consulting several close friends who understand the situation they couldn't arrive with any solutions either. The only solution so far is the prayers.
Maybe I shouldn't get into the details of the incidents. I mean it is more than obvious for many of my close friends.
The interesting part is that, because in our school the IB Grade 12's only have a population of around 50, so it is unavoidable to see almost everyone on a daily basis. I thought I could live without talking to that guy, but, him being the leader of the "Group A", it is impossible to not interact with him.
As my drama teacher would classify a class of students, our year group is split into several circles. The "Group A" being those that are at the top of the triangle and trendsetters; "Group B" is the followers, which is the group I'd say I am in; and "Group C" are the 'nerds'. This friend is a core leader of Group A, and so who wouldn't want to befriend him? And the main reason is not this particular person, but without him it is so difficult to keep up with the rest of the group A/B's, which are the closest friends of mine. One more year till graduation, I wouldn't want to lost connection with them afterwards - and definitely not to loose connection because I am not connected to the leader of the group. My considerations lie farther than befriending someone - it is about staying connected with them in the future.
* * * *
My mind is already blank. I have no idea how to deal with this. And if you happen to read this, can we hit the restart button?
*CC Note: Pure friendship. I tend to describe friendship as another loving relationship, but after all they all boil down to the word love, don't they?
