Sudden lost... of pressure

For the previous two months were full of pressure in studies, the carnival setup...

Then came projects that were due within this week. I didn't want to do so much during the weekdays so I managed to complete all during the weekend. Still another month until exams and according to my schedule I'd start revising two days later. Only thing to be bothered with is the Maths test coming in two days.

I'm not sure what is up with me, but for one night I felt so not motivated, for some unknown reason.

What I do know is that recently have been full of uncertainties. Today for some reason my test paper was not returned to me, then I had lots to do during lunch time and after school but thank God I managed to fit in 10 minutes to get the test paper back.

I always have my things planned ahead - I hate it when my schedule is empty but I'd rather have things written on it - "things" as in to the minute: which minute I should leave my home, which minute I would change trains.... everything. Everything has been on schedule, sometimes with time to spare.

But these few days everything is so sudden. I'm not sure if this suddenness made me all relaxed, for it seemed I can't foresee what is going to happen the next second so I shouldn't worry, or it made me so pressured to a point all pressure became dust and I don't want to bare anymore back at home.

Maybe that's what made me lost all my motivation all of a sudden? But I know I need to get on studying. Studying used to be full of pressure. What happened now that I lost all of them suddenly?

(Ok, this is feeling weird and I have no idea why...)

(And a note from CC: I made no organization before writing this. It might seem quite messy and confusing because that is how I am now. If you don't understand.... it's normal ;])