Last night I got home and decided to do something with my fish tank. Knowing I only have limited time, I decided to refill and change some water in the tank... a few liters perhaps.
So I got the bucket and the pump and started pumping out water. One bucket full - so I went to pour the dirty water away and collect some clean water from the tap. When I got back to the living room, where the fish tank is situated, I saw Mum busy rearranging the seaweed inside.
Mind you, by "rearranging" she meant "looking at which seaweed looks bad to her and cutting leaves or even the stem off"... which takes her ages.
I put on my favorite album, The Fame, and I expected to finish everything with the fish tank and go back to practicing piano after 5 songs, which is I Like It Rough. However Mum wasn't happy that I only remove one bucket of water and she requested that I remove another bucket after I have collected and treated the water from the tap (which I put in the same bucket, which means I have no bucket left). So I got another bucket from the balcony and pumped in another bucket of water. By the time I was pouring it the stereo was already playing the sixth song, Eh Eh.
Right after that I attempted to fill the water back into the tank. Mum opposed as she was still "rearranging" the seaweeds. So I waited, waited and waited. By the time I started filling in the water, it was already the 13th song, Brown Eyes and by the time I finished it, it was the 15th song.
So instead of taking 15 minutes, which was what I had planned, it took me nearly an hour. So that explains why I was stuck 12 midnight practicing piano, trying not to make too much noise. If I had practiced longer last night (or technically this morning), then this afternoon when I practiced I wouldn't be forgetting some notes. Ugh.
Monday, 27 September 2010
Wednesday, 22 September 2010
Priorities.
"Get your priorities straight" is something we hear often. At least I always say it.
Recently I got involved in a carnival project where I and a few classmates had to discuss about a game stall for the carnival (held by my school)... everyone was enthusiastic at the beginning, but then when it came to the meeting, a few actually turned down on the rest of the team.
We got an afternoon off today and for some reason some people had someone else that seemed more important than a school event to attend.
Is that so?
One thing I know for sure, the whole morning was swimming gala and, as a finalist, I had to wake up at 5.30am just to go to the swimming pool for a warm-up. All I looked forward to was the afternoon where we can have this first meeting. It was called off because too many people were engaged with something else.
Someone even said they "suddenly" got notified of a tutorial class and wasn't able to attend the meeting. The first thing that came into my head was - why can't you call off that tutorial, instead of this meeting? It seemed completely ridiculous to me.
And the deadline for the proposal is 30th this month. I wonder if we can actually complete the proposal within these two weeks, given I am not available this whole week due to other things.
Of course, one would question why I can't turn down these "things" too. The answer is simple - because I was notified earlier than the meeting and it is an art exhibition so I cannot turn it down. I don't think tutorial or similar is as important as an exhibition, especially being someone who would be helping to decorate the exhibition venue. If I turned them down they'd be really pissed off at me - their "reservation" was 2 months ago so I cannot say no the last second.
So I have no idea how the first meeting would actually begin. Bleh.
So I have no idea how the first meeting would actually begin. Bleh.
Wednesday, 15 September 2010
Secrets
Last night I was pretty much frustrated. So frustrated, still, that I couldn't resist to write another post.
So recently my mum found out about my relationships, or so from her words. And she thinks that the aim for me to bring my classmates to church is to let them meet girls.
To get straight to the facts all those guys I bring either have girlfriends or does not want to be involved in relationships, some even told me they came because they simply want to listen to words from God, which is totally understandable - that is the only reason for one to go to church.
Of course I know right away who told her - my bestfriend's mum. She knows it from the beginning to the end, of course with some bits missing, but she promised not to tell anyone.
Well anyone with moral values would know that it is important to keep a promise - especially when it concerns such high privacy. In this case I'd rather keep my relationship status private (well I write it on the blog because no one reads it anyway) or at least not discussed by anyone - with the exception of myself and friends that understand me and the whole situation of course.
So I feel totally offended by what had happened but I decided to ignore it and pretend nothing happened. My mum questioned me twice about who I like and both times I didn't answer of course.
Now I mentioned in another post that friends should share all secrets and feelings with others. Or, better said, share secrets with friends that understand you. I do not share relationship or other pretty private matters with mum because she, as a social worker, would share my experiences with her clients, friends and people in church - and of course sometimes I don't like her to share my private things so it is better to keep them secret from her.
So recently my mum found out about my relationships, or so from her words. And she thinks that the aim for me to bring my classmates to church is to let them meet girls.
To get straight to the facts all those guys I bring either have girlfriends or does not want to be involved in relationships, some even told me they came because they simply want to listen to words from God, which is totally understandable - that is the only reason for one to go to church.
Of course I know right away who told her - my bestfriend's mum. She knows it from the beginning to the end, of course with some bits missing, but she promised not to tell anyone.
Well anyone with moral values would know that it is important to keep a promise - especially when it concerns such high privacy. In this case I'd rather keep my relationship status private (well I write it on the blog because no one reads it anyway) or at least not discussed by anyone - with the exception of myself and friends that understand me and the whole situation of course.
So I feel totally offended by what had happened but I decided to ignore it and pretend nothing happened. My mum questioned me twice about who I like and both times I didn't answer of course.
Now I mentioned in another post that friends should share all secrets and feelings with others. Or, better said, share secrets with friends that understand you. I do not share relationship or other pretty private matters with mum because she, as a social worker, would share my experiences with her clients, friends and people in church - and of course sometimes I don't like her to share my private things so it is better to keep them secret from her.
Monday, 13 September 2010
Dropped Dead?
Haven't updated my blog for a week. I had been so stressed out I cannot even find time to write or whatsoever.
Today I had my Math lesson and I realized I forgot basically everything taught from the last two weeks. Now don't ask me why I used to remember them quite well. Tomorrow there's a special quiz and I have no idea how I could go through it. Knowing my teacher is always tricky I'm definitely there to fall for 110% of his tricks - including my careless mistakes.
Apart from that I have been really busy preparing for an exhibition. I had to type out captions for the showcased works and the host kept on changing the format and the deadline. At first it was a week, then now 2 days. No I am not going to do it. On Saturday I happened to be quite energetic so I did 1/3 (33 of them to be exact) all at a go. Fine enough all of them were rejected due to that the format and font size are not good enough. Now the host uses a Mac and tells me the font size is "17pt", but clearly in MS the font size "17" is just different. I ended up using 48. Well, I tried twice. That completely stressed me out.
My brain has been overheated since Math lesson trying to recap what happened for the previous 2 weeks. After completing the worksheet distributed perhaps my brain is starting to melt. Putting on some music, which I usually do, is no use. Gosh and I still have quite a lot to do - hopefully I can stand it.
Today I had my Math lesson and I realized I forgot basically everything taught from the last two weeks. Now don't ask me why I used to remember them quite well. Tomorrow there's a special quiz and I have no idea how I could go through it. Knowing my teacher is always tricky I'm definitely there to fall for 110% of his tricks - including my careless mistakes.
Apart from that I have been really busy preparing for an exhibition. I had to type out captions for the showcased works and the host kept on changing the format and the deadline. At first it was a week, then now 2 days. No I am not going to do it. On Saturday I happened to be quite energetic so I did 1/3 (33 of them to be exact) all at a go. Fine enough all of them were rejected due to that the format and font size are not good enough. Now the host uses a Mac and tells me the font size is "17pt", but clearly in MS the font size "17" is just different. I ended up using 48. Well, I tried twice. That completely stressed me out.
My brain has been overheated since Math lesson trying to recap what happened for the previous 2 weeks. After completing the worksheet distributed perhaps my brain is starting to melt. Putting on some music, which I usually do, is no use. Gosh and I still have quite a lot to do - hopefully I can stand it.
Monday, 6 September 2010
Appreciation.... and Depreciation
I'm not exactly sure why but every time I do something my mum seems to oppose. That is, like, almost every time.
I showed her a poem I wrote once describing a piece of art I made, and the first thing she did was ask what a specific word meant, thinking such word didn't exist. I proved her wrong so she shut up. And then the next comment I heard was: "I have no idea what you are writing... how do colors dance?" That completely pissed me off that I nearly had to send her out of my room.
My usual practice is to look for "constructive criticism" or "appreciations". Her comment was neither of those which completed pissed me off. I resort to using that word.
But it does piss me off. Not only that. One night I was practicing piano even though I hate doing so so much. I practiced for around 45 minutes and just as I was closing the piano's cover, I hear the comment I hear every time I practice piano with my mum's presence:
"Is that it?"
Yes, it is.
I mean, shouldn't you be glad that I actually did practice? Comparing to what I usually do (i.e. not practice, or not even touch the piano), it is a really big improvement. And, to be honest, I am happy with the progress. Well, until that comment.
And usually mum would request that I read books daily. Now I don't usually do it, and I admit I have a phobia of going to a library due to an experience I had in G1, so I seldom borrow books unless deemed necessary. What I usually do is to read on the forums or websites like insidesocialgames.com as they cover topics I am interested and... it's reading after all.
I'm not exactly sure why but she is just not happy with it. I do explain and demonstrate to her about online reading and she said that those authors don't use as professional vocabulary as authors of books do. Now I have no idea why this is the case, because, after all, it's still words.
So I tried to accept her argument and read books. Fine enough she asked me if I had read books I told her yes I did. She then asked which language I read. I told her English, as I do prefer English to Chinese even since Kindergarten. (Otherwise obviously I would've written this whole blog in Chinese)
She went on saying how Chinese books benefit me more than English books do. Well I don't really enjoy reading Chinese books as the topics don't cover what I like. And as mentioned above I prefer insidesocialgames.com or other website that cover online gaming categories, and so far I haven't heard of any Chinese websites covering such topic. The largest Facebook app developer in Chinese is 6waves, which ranks around 5-6 on the lists. So undoubtedly there aren't too much topics to cover.
And she suggested reading the newspaper. I did. Well for some reason she still isn't happy simply because I'm not reading the whole newspaper. And, I mean, I don't want to read over what happened in the Phillippines 2 weeks ago over and over and over for weeks because that is just heart-breaking.
She does the same with my cousin, whose business she gets involved in all the time.
Last night when we were having dinner she was having a lecture with my cousin when I was sitting opposite to him. I kinda of giggled to him and did the I-know-how-it-feels-and-it-is-annoying laugh. Of course mum didn't understand the Teen Language and of course I wouldn't be bothered to explain anyway.
So yea this is what I wrote when I should have been practicing piano. For some reason playing the piano at night juts reminds me of what happened and I banged the piano so hard and I didn't want to play anymore and decided to sit back in front of the computer and write something.
I showed her a poem I wrote once describing a piece of art I made, and the first thing she did was ask what a specific word meant, thinking such word didn't exist. I proved her wrong so she shut up. And then the next comment I heard was: "I have no idea what you are writing... how do colors dance?" That completely pissed me off that I nearly had to send her out of my room.
My usual practice is to look for "constructive criticism" or "appreciations". Her comment was neither of those which completed pissed me off. I resort to using that word.
But it does piss me off. Not only that. One night I was practicing piano even though I hate doing so so much. I practiced for around 45 minutes and just as I was closing the piano's cover, I hear the comment I hear every time I practice piano with my mum's presence:
"Is that it?"
Yes, it is.
I mean, shouldn't you be glad that I actually did practice? Comparing to what I usually do (i.e. not practice, or not even touch the piano), it is a really big improvement. And, to be honest, I am happy with the progress. Well, until that comment.
And usually mum would request that I read books daily. Now I don't usually do it, and I admit I have a phobia of going to a library due to an experience I had in G1, so I seldom borrow books unless deemed necessary. What I usually do is to read on the forums or websites like insidesocialgames.com as they cover topics I am interested and... it's reading after all.
I'm not exactly sure why but she is just not happy with it. I do explain and demonstrate to her about online reading and she said that those authors don't use as professional vocabulary as authors of books do. Now I have no idea why this is the case, because, after all, it's still words.
So I tried to accept her argument and read books. Fine enough she asked me if I had read books I told her yes I did. She then asked which language I read. I told her English, as I do prefer English to Chinese even since Kindergarten. (Otherwise obviously I would've written this whole blog in Chinese)
She went on saying how Chinese books benefit me more than English books do. Well I don't really enjoy reading Chinese books as the topics don't cover what I like. And as mentioned above I prefer insidesocialgames.com or other website that cover online gaming categories, and so far I haven't heard of any Chinese websites covering such topic. The largest Facebook app developer in Chinese is 6waves, which ranks around 5-6 on the lists. So undoubtedly there aren't too much topics to cover.
And she suggested reading the newspaper. I did. Well for some reason she still isn't happy simply because I'm not reading the whole newspaper. And, I mean, I don't want to read over what happened in the Phillippines 2 weeks ago over and over and over for weeks because that is just heart-breaking.
She does the same with my cousin, whose business she gets involved in all the time.
Last night when we were having dinner she was having a lecture with my cousin when I was sitting opposite to him. I kinda of giggled to him and did the I-know-how-it-feels-and-it-is-annoying laugh. Of course mum didn't understand the Teen Language and of course I wouldn't be bothered to explain anyway.
So yea this is what I wrote when I should have been practicing piano. For some reason playing the piano at night juts reminds me of what happened and I banged the piano so hard and I didn't want to play anymore and decided to sit back in front of the computer and write something.
Saturday, 4 September 2010
A weekend to recharge...
It has only been 3 days of school but really stressful for me. Homeworks are piling up in the to-do list, friends are leaving, gotta deal with the fish which Mum has been really enthusiastic about for some random reasons recently, and relationship is broken forever...
Last night I was cold-battling my ex, trying to ignore all her comments and provoking her via my Facebook statuses telling her I actually guessed that she have been cheating on me and bla bla bla. I'm not exactly sure if that is the best idea but all I know is that another friend wanted to prank call her as a revenge.
And then of course dealing with the ever-changing seating plan is just another pain in the ass. Typos, amendments and as a semi-perfectionist I can't stand any single typo or factual mistake. So I have been updating things at a daily basis, which is kind of tiring.
I also have to practice piano and obviously I know 30-40 minutes a day won't bring any progress to me. But I can't stand practicing 2 hours a day, so that is kind of contradictory.
And of course many SmallWorlds and other foruming business to deal with. I never want to stop those because that is basically where I get in touch with the rest of the world and I just love forums so much, despite all the drama.
Perhaps there are other random things that are happening, because I am really stressed out. And weekends don't usually get exemptions... but I am trying to ignore whatever is happening so I can just enjoy the view from my window and... forget everything. At least it is 2 quiet days before 5 busy and drama-filled days.
However I do have to thank my friends for cheering me up after my breakup. Thank you all :)
And since I am bored today I might as well as write more that is not as relevant. I have often questioned myself why do I write so many personal things here, at times even my closest friends don't know. But I keep on telling myself no one is reading the blog - this is the comment I got when I was asking my friends about starting a blog. So I pour my heart and speak my mind here for I know no one is reading. And if you are.... well you know the bottom of my heart. Do comment and let me know you are reading! :)
Last night I was cold-battling my ex, trying to ignore all her comments and provoking her via my Facebook statuses telling her I actually guessed that she have been cheating on me and bla bla bla. I'm not exactly sure if that is the best idea but all I know is that another friend wanted to prank call her as a revenge.
And then of course dealing with the ever-changing seating plan is just another pain in the ass. Typos, amendments and as a semi-perfectionist I can't stand any single typo or factual mistake. So I have been updating things at a daily basis, which is kind of tiring.
I also have to practice piano and obviously I know 30-40 minutes a day won't bring any progress to me. But I can't stand practicing 2 hours a day, so that is kind of contradictory.
And of course many SmallWorlds and other foruming business to deal with. I never want to stop those because that is basically where I get in touch with the rest of the world and I just love forums so much, despite all the drama.
Perhaps there are other random things that are happening, because I am really stressed out. And weekends don't usually get exemptions... but I am trying to ignore whatever is happening so I can just enjoy the view from my window and... forget everything. At least it is 2 quiet days before 5 busy and drama-filled days.
However I do have to thank my friends for cheering me up after my breakup. Thank you all :)
And since I am bored today I might as well as write more that is not as relevant. I have often questioned myself why do I write so many personal things here, at times even my closest friends don't know. But I keep on telling myself no one is reading the blog - this is the comment I got when I was asking my friends about starting a blog. So I pour my heart and speak my mind here for I know no one is reading. And if you are.... well you know the bottom of my heart. Do comment and let me know you are reading! :)
Wednesday, 1 September 2010
Real friend?
I always believe being diving into relationships we have to deal with friendship. Or perhaps the "procedure" is: family --> friends --> relationship. I am kind of stuck in the middle right now so no doubt relationships aren't going well.
Recently it got me thinking what a best friend needs to be. Always be there to support? To listen? To help? Perhaps that's the basics.
But it got me thinking - some "friends" aren't really being a "friend". There are perhaps one or two friends whom I can trust and talk to and tell everyone to them, and of course they tell me everything too and yes they have been a great support to me.
Some others.... well I treat them as a best friend too. I tell them everything. But what I got? I got teased at based on all those "secrets" and at times being threatened they would leak them out too. And, on the contrary, they never tell me about their lives. Not that there is nothing to tell, but every time I had to find them out myself via various sources and sometimes have to guess the meaning between the lines, then put two and two together and know what actually happened.
Oh well I guess the best is the avoid these people that aren't really best friends... and that is what I am trying to.
Recently it got me thinking what a best friend needs to be. Always be there to support? To listen? To help? Perhaps that's the basics.
But it got me thinking - some "friends" aren't really being a "friend". There are perhaps one or two friends whom I can trust and talk to and tell everyone to them, and of course they tell me everything too and yes they have been a great support to me.
Some others.... well I treat them as a best friend too. I tell them everything. But what I got? I got teased at based on all those "secrets" and at times being threatened they would leak them out too. And, on the contrary, they never tell me about their lives. Not that there is nothing to tell, but every time I had to find them out myself via various sources and sometimes have to guess the meaning between the lines, then put two and two together and know what actually happened.
Oh well I guess the best is the avoid these people that aren't really best friends... and that is what I am trying to.
New School Year.... is it really that good?
I'm not sure.
Today I arrived at school and, sure enough, I am glad to be back at the top class. But then after I learnt who my teachers are going to be, it doesn't seem to be such a good thing to be.
The fact is, from the people I know, not many of them are happy with the arrangements. Weird enough, this year all grade 9 classes have male form teachers - first time I have ever known. Don't ask my why - maybe the school thinks that we are the worst amongst the school so they sent male teachers?
There was also a whole-school service this morning and we were greeted by the Headmaster strolling into the school hall, furious, calling out students who didn't bring their hymn books to leave the hall. Around a quarter of the school left the hall. I don't understand - it's the first day of school and not everyone has recovered (including me) - so why be so harsh? Even though not bringing the hymn book may be quite an offense, but after all it's the first day and every one deserves a happy beginning, right?
And new school year also gets me thinking about friendship and relationships. I'm not exactly sure about who my real friend is now, nor am I sure who I love right now. Life's complicated. I wish I could fix these soon so I could have an enjoyable school year.
But all I know for now is that it is going to be a tough year and a lot to overcome.
Today I arrived at school and, sure enough, I am glad to be back at the top class. But then after I learnt who my teachers are going to be, it doesn't seem to be such a good thing to be.
The fact is, from the people I know, not many of them are happy with the arrangements. Weird enough, this year all grade 9 classes have male form teachers - first time I have ever known. Don't ask my why - maybe the school thinks that we are the worst amongst the school so they sent male teachers?
There was also a whole-school service this morning and we were greeted by the Headmaster strolling into the school hall, furious, calling out students who didn't bring their hymn books to leave the hall. Around a quarter of the school left the hall. I don't understand - it's the first day of school and not everyone has recovered (including me) - so why be so harsh? Even though not bringing the hymn book may be quite an offense, but after all it's the first day and every one deserves a happy beginning, right?
And new school year also gets me thinking about friendship and relationships. I'm not exactly sure about who my real friend is now, nor am I sure who I love right now. Life's complicated. I wish I could fix these soon so I could have an enjoyable school year.
But all I know for now is that it is going to be a tough year and a lot to overcome.
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