11 days of torture finally passed. I sat down with my friends, chatting and talking about the exams. There was nothing to worry about for now - at least we're still far away from our next exam.
But then as usual, when final exams passed a wave of holidays will approach. And when these 2 months of holidays approach it's usually bored to death. So before hand I have asked some friends if they wanted to visit my home, or if I could visit their home.
Originally planned was my friend to visit my home and we'd just sit back, chill, chat, or play Wii... it all seemed very relaxing and fantastic...
Too fantastic to be real.
Sometimes people are always bounded by parents, uncontrollable factors, history... and perhaps I am pretty glad I am mostly free of these - at least I try to keep my schedules as flexible as possible. But not everybody's schedules are flexible, and I am not blaming anyone for that.
But what makes me sad is that I'd have another bored day at home. I have always dreamed of strolling along the beach with a friend or two, or perhaps just having chats with friends at a home completely relaxed and free of academic pressure. But this has still remained a dream.
And what comes along with the boredom is getting worried about broken friendships and relationships or relationships of friends or any other pessimistic thoughts. (The classic example would be to check this blog's history - August '10)
So, indeed, the original joy that comes along when you think you're "liberated" in fact comes along with more boredom and depression.
Wednesday, 22 June 2011
Monday, 13 June 2011
In the middle of hell...
Yes it's only 2 days out of the 9 long days of exam period.
But I am totally worn out already.
After day 1 of the exams I suffered from a whole body of itchiness and could not even focus on anything that night. Day 1 was maths and it basically killed everyone's confidence. Tonight I am just sitting in front of my computer with 0% productivity. But I'm not even half-way through my exams. I didn't even expect myself to be writing on the blog during my exam period.
It feels like it's the worst moment throughout the year - when there is already no one to support you, no one to talk to, no one to help you, and you are all alone in that huge battleship not knowing where to start, where to go or what to do. It's just standing there helplessly. Hundreds of battleships are all next to you, each worrying on their own. No one could help the others. Yet the bombs keep coming. All you could do it try to dodge away. But each bomb destroys your battleship more and more. Before you could repair it another bomb comes.
Where is the someone that you could talk to when you most need one?
But I am totally worn out already.
After day 1 of the exams I suffered from a whole body of itchiness and could not even focus on anything that night. Day 1 was maths and it basically killed everyone's confidence. Tonight I am just sitting in front of my computer with 0% productivity. But I'm not even half-way through my exams. I didn't even expect myself to be writing on the blog during my exam period.
It feels like it's the worst moment throughout the year - when there is already no one to support you, no one to talk to, no one to help you, and you are all alone in that huge battleship not knowing where to start, where to go or what to do. It's just standing there helplessly. Hundreds of battleships are all next to you, each worrying on their own. No one could help the others. Yet the bombs keep coming. All you could do it try to dodge away. But each bomb destroys your battleship more and more. Before you could repair it another bomb comes.
Where is the someone that you could talk to when you most need one?
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