Why, thank you.

Seriously brushing some dust off my blog now. I guess the only time I write on my blog is when I feel bad, which is what I am right now.

School has resumed, and schoolwork has been flooding in so much that they usually flow out again. Last week has been so pressurized and I just cannot stand it.

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And recently got involved in a church function and I am not put in an important role which doesn't really matter me. I like to be the small roles. But then again, I got into the singing part.

I suppose I have written how I am not really that into singing, especially whenever I sing the only and only response I get is to shut up.

A while ago a friend called me and told me they were working on the visual materials for the function. I nearly sworn - I totally wanted to do that (Okay, let me be straight, the "visual material" is actually PowerPoint)! Well, too late for anything. Anything.

I still wonder what makes me unable to display my real abilities (or at least I think they are). The thing is I like to take up backstage roles whenever it comes to stage performances. I don't know what is happening or why this happened, but I just feel I am very isolated.

That brings me back to when I'm in church with other people rehearsing the songs for the function. The people in the worship team came from different fellowships, in which my fellowship is a newly-formed fellowship which our connections aren't that board. Only a few of the people from our fellowship participated in the function. We just sit in the corner whenever it comes to breaks, and the others would stand around like gangs and all that. Man, how welcomed I feel.

The conductor said we should be more anticipated when singing on stage, which is true, but the thing is I can't really do that in front of a mirror with other 30 people in the room who don't know me and when my head is sticking out from the crowd. I just can't afford that. I don't know why, probably because I just always get discouraged when I try to enjoy myself in music.

* * * * *

My mind is empty, again.

I don't know, seriously.

Well, all I'd say is, thank you for giving so many wonderful opportunities in life.

CC Note: Don't get me wrong - I enjoy my time at church, just that whenever it comes to the social level I fail wherever I am.