What am I left with?

Recently I have been thinking about what my career should be. I was thinking about resource management or public relations. At least I am pretty good at that, I think.

Today I presented this idea to one of my teachers. She said that these jobs, if I actually study them in university, would give me no future - they are the jobs most easily to be fired.

I tried to keep my smile on. It was hard. Deep in my heart I ask myself, "If my only dreams cannot be fulfilled, what am I left with?"

~*~*~*~*~

It isn't only that that made me think about it. Remember around two months ago I wrote about joining Timing Squad, as a contribution to the school. I have been enjoying the experience so far. Unfortunately due to unforeseen circumstances it is unlikely for the squad to participate in an upcoming inter-school competition, in which press coverage is quite broad, too. I have always wanted to participate in that event, no matter as part of the cheering team or timer (not a swimmer - I can never do that anyway.).

Now that I can't even join the event I have wanted to join - or perhaps the reason I was actually recruited to join the squad (to have enough timers to participate in the event), I actually made me feel so bad. So bad it feels like breaking up.

Why?

Timing Squad in our school has 44 years of history and, according to my knowledge, this year is the only year in history we couldn't participate in the same inter-school event. I joined the Squad simply because I regard it as probably the only way for me to contribute back to my school. It looks like now this only way is also a dead-end, too.

All my wishes, dreams, diffuse into nothing, one by one. What am I left with?